By Attorney Vincent Hein
Some families seem to have it all together—discussing elder care issues with ease, courtesy, and cooperation. While this may not be a Disney fantasy, it is rare. In my elder law practice, I often see the opposite: siblings with different levels of involvement and conflicting expectations. Typically, one child lives out of state, another lives with the parent, and a third lives nearby but is uninvolved. The question is: how can families work together to provide the best care for their aging parent?
Support System
The first step is identifying who will support the elder if they become ill. While some remain healthy, most develop health issues with age. All children should participate in care. A strong support system—family, friends, and caregivers—ensures safer, more effective care. This can be achieved through open communication and tools like a schedule, medication list, medical records, a care log, and a healthcare power of attorney.
Schedule
Create a written schedule of visits and responsibilities. Rotate duties to avoid caregiver burnout and consider options like the Family Medical Leave Act for out-of-town children. Friends or hired caregivers can also help. The goal is organized, shared responsibility.
Medication List
Medication errors affect millions of elderly Americans people annually. Maintain a master list of all prescriptions, dosages, times, and prescribing doctors. Include vitamins and supplements, as they may interact with medications. This ensures every caregiver and provider has accurate, consistent information.
Records
Keep a binder or electronic file with medical records, lab results, and surgical history. This helps family members and medical professionals access vital information quickly.
Care Log
Maintain a care log where caregivers record daily updates. This keeps everyone informed, reduces confusion, and minimizes conflict.
Health Care Power of Attorney
Every elder should designate a health care power of attorney—someone legally authorized to make medical decisions if the elder cannot speak for themselves. This document is an essential part of any care plan and should be prepared with the help of an elder law attorney.
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